Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Hankering for Home

I think that I officially know what retirement might be like, I am not so sure I like it. Granted I am sure it will grow on me, but this not going mach fifty all day everyday, is hard! Call me crazy, but I am a doer and shaker and some days I really am struggling with the current leisure aspect of my life. I honestly miss working and this not having to get up every morning with a plan of attack is tough for me, I don't like to be still and I sometimes feel like I am lacking that purpose that I had before we embarked on this journey. I know, first world problems and I really am grateful for the awesome experience of getting to see this country, its just some days, I really miss home; our family, our friends, work, my clients and today is one of those days, it was a day that I seriously considered loading up the car and driving home!

We are just over two months into our trek, and it seems like this week, the loneliness has kind of hit me like a brick. I don't know if is the adjusting to having Tom traveling for work again after having him all to myself for nearly two months, or the fact that when you have a dog in a new place, especially one that suffers separation anxiety, it really limits what you can and can't do with your free time. For the most part I try to take Ethel with us on our adventures, she doesn't tend to do so well when left to her own devices; in fact yesterday when I left Ethel to go to the market I came back to partially torn apart foam dog ramp and a lovely gift in the middle of the floor to let me know she was less than pleased with me; it's these things that either make it easier to take her with me or just stay home with her, instead of going out on my own. It's not like I can get mad at her either, I have completely taken her out of her element and she now has a new place that she must acclimate to every month, and Tom and I are her only steadiness right now, so being left alone in a place she doesn't know, is tough and like I said getting mad at her for a situation I've put her in isn't fair to her. So we make due and sometimes our adventures just constitute a walk down a new street for the day, a drive to see something new and/or a run for me in the park while Miss Ethel goes for a ride in the dog stroller; which by the way, gets a lot of stares, but is awesome and is saving my sanity right now, the being able to exercise and being able to take her with me to do so!

I don't think we realize how much we value those friendships and relationships until you can't just call them up and say, "hey, meet me for a drink after work" or "lets go get a pedicure on Tuesday." I am missing those moments with my girlfriends and the torturing my classes and clients and my bonkers work schedule! I know, most would relish to get to do what we are doing, and I am not discounting the awesomeness of our adventures at all, I just miss those kick ass people in my life and I had to share it!

And I really, really miss not having a doggie door! Like really miss it!


  1. I hope you can figure it all out and feel better once Tom gets back with you. Yes, it must be difficult with Ethel. I know a lot of places are dog friendly these days but a lot still are not so it limits what you can do for sure. Well, take care and hang in there. It is like that for me when Tony gets REALLY busy with his work. So I have just been walking a LOT but I still don't lose weight which is making me so disgusted. I have taken to measuring and weighing everything again and hope that helps. I journal but just look at the day and say, oh shit, guess I went over again. :(

  2. aww. I totally understand. I went through, and continue, to battle these feelings as a stay at home mom. I love being industrious and super busy, working toward something. While being a Mom is rewarding, it isn't instantaneously gratifying like work can be. At times I miss routine, work conversations and after work happy hours. And, I remember when I went to school in Spain (sad me right?), I missed the craziest US things - gum, cold cereal, unlimited hot water and clean sidewalks, and at times I just wanted to come home. Life changes are hard, hang in there and try to enjoy this time. You'll miss it - I'd love to find a time machine and go back to my student days in Spain for a week - even dealing with the gross jamon, strange social protocols and poopy sidewalks.

    1. Thank you Heather, I knew I couldn't be the only one wondering why I was feeling this way, when I really am having an awesome time. It is crazy the things that I didn't even think about missing when we set out on this trek, the ones I that I thought I was okay with taking some time off of, are really the ones I miss the most.. I really wish I wasn't such a creature of habit sometimes!